Thursday, October 9, 2008
why it turned out like this.
10:17 AM
I always thought i was too demanding, too sensitive, not friendly-enough...
But until...yesterday, i made my own stand that it shouldn't be this way.
I told myself that i must be more friendly and patient toward him.
i tried my best to give in...
No matter, how much i was being "fired", i endured.
i do nagged but that's one of the ways that girls' use; to express their feelings.
i feel that i did so much for you, compared to my Boy.friend.
what i did for you; was just for Boy.friend.
i never thought that i will end up like this...
Such a fierce girl and i turned out like this.
i really looked down on myself~
Totally disappointed in myself.
Boyfriend;have been stress over this matter since we got together.
I am sad; over his sadness.
i try to give in; no matter what i do, you won't never appreciate.
You are my Boyfriend's good friend, i am sure there's s0mething special in you which makes my boyfriend to have a friend; like you.
i tried to step back, hoping that i can see "the nice things" in you..
But i did not.
i talked to someone nice, in the night.
Hoping to get some suggestions/advises over myself.
Hoping hard that we can be real friends .
i can't even calculate how many times, i have stepped back, thickening my skin, just for you.
i am a girl and you r a man.. & i have to always scratch my head, to think of way to
be friend with you.. (sleep-less nights)
Recently; i know we turned out to be good after the mails.
But thanks to your bad comments about me, that seriously hit my "piss-off point" again.
i was thinking: "Did you know me well?" ....
i was just trying to accept you as a friend, finding "nice things" in you..
but what i get, was your bad comments...
i do accept bad comments but only comes from my good friends. (Sistas, C.D, Z.L, Y, etc)
Why-not, we think of this way..
you just know a friend, not close and he/she started laughing at you/commenting about you..
CAN you accept it?
Asked you out, you are late for an hour plus; without any sorries/words.
Asked you out, but you are not interested in the cheap apparals i am looking at~
Your were standing out-outside, leaving me in the store alone.
At time, i want my boyfriend.. but your are out of the st0re, he had to acc your.
then i realized, we couldn't click well for shopping/outings.
if not, i will be always the one, shopping alone; which really saddens me.
After all these things, i feel that you are not serious to solve this problem between us.
我好累； 好累。。。
And it gives me a thought that the problem doesn't really lie on me.
You said: " if you want i could leave between you guys and never appear in front of him anymore or letting him seeing me again anymore. i could really do that if you want. really. just a yes or no! that will do. i'm not threatening you or whatever. i just wanna save the relationship between you two."
At that time, i was stunned. I had never thought of this & you think of that.
Your suggestion will not solve the problem but worsen the situation. it will only show my selfishness. You are not helping me but trying to break the relationship between both of us.
i was thinking, wht's in your mind at that point of time.
Are you sure that; you dun really "suan" your friends?
how's abt My lovely yalian? Think of it.
To sum-up: we will never be friends; if i am only the one doing the work. It's takes two hands to clap.
Why not you think why are you in such a "special case" ???
& i wana tell you that i am not materialistic.
But until...yesterday, i made my own stand that it shouldn't be this way.
I told myself that i must be more friendly and patient toward him.
i tried my best to give in...
No matter, how much i was being "fired", i endured.
i do nagged but that's one of the ways that girls' use; to express their feelings.
i feel that i did so much for you, compared to my Boy.friend.
what i did for you; was just for Boy.friend.
i never thought that i will end up like this...
Such a fierce girl and i turned out like this.
i really looked down on myself~
Totally disappointed in myself.
Boyfriend;have been stress over this matter since we got together.
I am sad; over his sadness.
i try to give in; no matter what i do, you won't never appreciate.
You are my Boyfriend's good friend, i am sure there's s0mething special in you which makes my boyfriend to have a friend; like you.
i tried to step back, hoping that i can see "the nice things" in you..
But i did not.
i talked to someone nice, in the night.
Hoping to get some suggestions/advises over myself.
Hoping hard that we can be real friends .
i can't even calculate how many times, i have stepped back, thickening my skin, just for you.
i am a girl and you r a man.. & i have to always scratch my head, to think of way to
be friend with you.. (sleep-less nights)
Recently; i know we turned out to be good after the mails.
But thanks to your bad comments about me, that seriously hit my "piss-off point" again.
i was thinking: "Did you know me well?" ....
i was just trying to accept you as a friend, finding "nice things" in you..
but what i get, was your bad comments...
i do accept bad comments but only comes from my good friends. (Sistas, C.D, Z.L, Y, etc)
Why-not, we think of this way..
you just know a friend, not close and he/she started laughing at you/commenting about you..
CAN you accept it?
Asked you out, you are late for an hour plus; without any sorries/words.
Asked you out, but you are not interested in the cheap apparals i am looking at~
Your were standing out-outside, leaving me in the store alone.
At time, i want my boyfriend.. but your are out of the st0re, he had to acc your.
then i realized, we couldn't click well for shopping/outings.
if not, i will be always the one, shopping alone; which really saddens me.
After all these things, i feel that you are not serious to solve this problem between us.
我好累； 好累。。。
And it gives me a thought that the problem doesn't really lie on me.
You said: " if you want i could leave between you guys and never appear in front of him anymore or letting him seeing me again anymore. i could really do that if you want. really. just a yes or no! that will do. i'm not threatening you or whatever. i just wanna save the relationship between you two."
At that time, i was stunned. I had never thought of this & you think of that.
Your suggestion will not solve the problem but worsen the situation. it will only show my selfishness. You are not helping me but trying to break the relationship between both of us.
i was thinking, wht's in your mind at that point of time.
Are you sure that; you dun really "suan" your friends?
how's abt My lovely yalian? Think of it.
To sum-up: we will never be friends; if i am only the one doing the work. It's takes two hands to clap.
Why not you think why are you in such a "special case" ???
& i wana tell you that i am not materialistic.
